rpd's lj!

Feeling a lot better. Things have calmed down. Weather still bites though. FU rain! >.<

I also read through some old Entertainment Weekly magazines I found in the bathroom. Crazy shit reading about Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt divorcing and House's first season (and the planned Emmy push for Hugh Laurie) and Paradise Hotel (which I think I actually watched a few episodes of before my mother chided me for it, calling it "trash." But it was so entertaining!). Crazy shit, man.

Also, I found it totally hot that Bend It Like Beckham was on the Must List. Damn straight, EW!

I don't think it's whatever double standards and shit that have me so testy and upset. I really don't know what does have me so pissed off and angsty. I flipped out and told my mother about my feelings about the "double standards" in the past but, once again, my mother, being who she is, complains how I'm bringing up "middle school stuff" from the past that isn't important anymore.

I can't stop this attitude of mine or how upset I keep getting. My parents are no help. I just want to stop being so emotional. I'm not normally like this and I hate acting like this. I feel like a spoiled, bratty twelve-year-old. I'm not like this. I'm normally more mature, collected, casual. I mean, I used to be like this. But I stopped, and for good reason, because I didn't like the person I was. I don't like the person I am right now. But I don't know how to make it stop. And until then, I feel a horrible mix of guilt for acting this way and misery for acting this way as well as the general overemotional behaviour I am currently exhibiting. It's so painful to just watch myself act so stupidly. But every time I try to explain this, I just feel and act worse.

I don't get this. And the worst part is that now I'm sure I've lost my parents' respect by being this way. Great. It's bad enough that when I'm acting my age my parents still treat me like a child. Now that I'm acting like one, I deserve that. But when I eventually get better and try to forget this, I'm betting they won't. Fucking great.

I thought I was done growing up. Guess I'm having a mental recession. Here's looking at you, John McCain.

At least I can still be a witty miserable teenager?

Nine and a half more months until there's no more teen in my age. Can't come soon enough. Wish that would fix things, but I'm guessing it won't.

Fuck. This. Shit. >.<

I saw Up again. I cried at least on three, maybe four, occasions. Although it's not my favourite Pixar films because, as good as it is, it's no WALL-E/Toy Story, it definitely got to me more than probably any of those other films ever has. I mean, I cry during most movies I see, or at least tear up, if I like them at all, but I don't usually cry more than once or twice. Kudos, Up!

Speaking of movies, let me count how many people want to go see Public Enemies with me. Hmm... seven off of the top of my head. This will be interesting to actually make happen. BUT I AM PSYCHED. I am way excited to see that movie.

I was thinking yesterday, as I fled the house and my dramatically upset pissiness, about why I love movies, and I realize that it's for the same reasons as everyone else, really. I went to go see Up to escape my life, to thoroughly enjoy a good-looking, well-written story, and that's really why I see all movies, even the prestigious ones, even the bad ones, even the BAMF ones - I see them because I love getting lost in movies.

It's also really sad to think about too because there is this deep love I have for movies that is just so different than love I have for anything, or anyone, else. And when I'm not experiencing that, it's hard for me. It's like I suffer from withdrawal (isn't this just a wee bit pathetic when you think about it?). I have to see movies, and I particularly enjoy seeing new, amazing movies.

I admit, I am deeply upset that there is nothing like The Dark Knight coming soon to theatres. I was so excited for that movie and it was just so unbelievably amazingly awesome on so many levels (it satisfied my childhood Batman-fanatic geek, my Heath Ledger-loving soul, my Morgan-Freeman-Is-The-Awesomest-Badass-Ever side, my action-adventure love, my Deep-Yet-Not-Pretentious-Storyline obsession, and my fangirl like obsession with awesome filmmaking - the soundtrack! the editing! the cinematography! the sets!) and there isn't a movie quite like that this summer. Granted, I am hyping for Public Enemies like there is no tomorrow, but I know it won't be the same.

Regardless, I love movies, if you all didn't already know.

I rented a bunch recently. I watched The Forbidden Kingdom the other day and I liked it a lot. I remember the previews for it and I thought it looked wicked cool but I never got to see it in theatres (I admit, I was pushing for it on senior skip day, but nobody really cared and Liz was all like "NARNIA! NARNIA!" ...at least Ben Barnes is hot...) and I got to see it now and it was very cool. I'm returning to my action-adventure love, I think, especially since I also watched Hero today. It started with the English dub and I was like "uh, no" and went to setup to change it back to Mandarin.

Hero was awesome. It felt so Rashomon in the story-telling style, but with the action flair of the best martial arts films ever. And I loved Tony Leung in that movie. Everyone was great, but he always stands out to me when I see him (i.e. 2046, Infernal Affairs) for whatever reason. The art direction was fabulous, and although the moral of the story, the stance it takes, has a really frightening political meaning, there's a part of me that agrees with the idea that sometimes we do have to make sacrifices to have peace. Of course, this depends on the peace, and we don't want something like the third ending of Jade Empire (aka: totalitarianism and militaristically forced peace) to hold true, but fighting gets tiresome and not all battles are worth fighting.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I just thought I'd share my latest film feelings since, as I said, there is this inexplicable relationship between me and the movies, a bond that I feel so strongly, and that allows me to bore everyone with extensive movie-chatter.

But I hope y'all love me anyway.

Peace (the good sort).

(BTWs: sidenote, I was in a much better mood today. The parentals? Less so. Oi frikkin vey.)

And a PS: Got my polisci paper and final back today. I am amazed I got a 99 on the final, and impressed by the A/A- on the paper. I was sure I screwed up the final, but I guess I was wrong. Hurrah! And among all the legitimate remarks on my paper, one struck me the most: there really isn't enough research, I think, into the many effects of video games, especially beyond whether or not it makes kids more prone to violence.

ALRIGHT THE END NOW.

I think one of my favourite things about Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch blog is probably the tags. Sure, there are the ordinary tags like "American Idol 2009" and "The Biggest Loser" and whatever, but then there are the glorious tags such as "deals" (as in big deal, even though the rest of the world seems to have taken a cue from me and dropped the "big" part of that phrase... or maybe I'm just in tune with the world. WHO KNOWS?) and "Waiting" (doesn't it suck to get awesomely interesting information about upcoming projects and then... realize that the film/tv show/video game/book/etc. doesn't come out for weeks, months, or maybe even years?) and other more interesting tags such as "Things That Are Awesome!" and "Hello to the no!" and "I'm Just a Geek" and "The Bad Man Scares Me!" and "Cute Cat Videos!" (which was actually the subject of an entire post).

Did I mention that, aside from filmmaking, writing for Entertainment Weekly is essentially my dream job? Essentially, if I could just write about "and this is why Heroes was once awesome but now sucks" and about how I'll be very disappointed if Sherlock Holmes does not have a cocaine addiction in the upcoming movie mostly because a) the House wikipedia article told me he had one and b) because Guy Ritchie is directing it and therefore I expect some underworldly ongoings. I would also probably write about how I still have nightmares about Diablo Cody's get-up to the Oscars when she won for Juno but since she's a writer for EW I don't think they'd like that very much. And I need to work out a bit more before I can beat her in a fight.

So I totally think I have to start an entertainment themed blog this summer or else I'll die. Molly and Shellie and I will hopefully do it together because it won't work if I do it alone (how did "what claudia wore" get so popular anyway? I mean, it's wonderful, but many wonderful things remain undiscovered on the internet) and because Molly and Shellie are also wonderfully entertainment-friendly people with whom I hope to write many a review for the Bard Free Press next semester. :D

Anyway, I just thought I'd share my joy of EW's wonderful tags with you all. Also insert a couple flails over the House season finale (flailflailflail). Now to go back to reading about how violent video games are badbadbad.

I haven't IMed him. I don't think I will. I'll be the first to admit that I have chickened out. Maybe if another strange mood like that strikes me again I'll do it, but now I can't see the point.

Now, I'm sure reading about my bitching and moaning is really annoying so despite my pent up frustration, I'll try to keep this short.

SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR is exactly where I am right now. In seven days, I will be back at home, all worries about schoolwork banished away until August 31st, time all mine, only worrying about getting a summer job, organizing trips to take, and catching up on Chuck. But... seven days is ridiculously far away from where I am standing. What have I left to do? Well, the three finals I have to do really are the least of my worries. My documentary final probably won't be too extraordinarily difficult, and even so, Molly and I are spending Thursday evening studying for the Friday morning exam. The Public Opinion, Political Participation, and Democracy in America final on Monday shouldn't be much worse than the midterm (which I got a very sweet 98 on), and with a bit of studying over the weekend, I should be able to tackle that baby. And my Revolution final, after tomorrow's study session in class (for which I still need to do some work tonight) and with some good old studying over the weekend, I'm not too heavily concerned.

So why all the fuss? Why am I so stressed out? Because on top of the finals, which are manageable, I've got a 10-15 page research paper to whip up by Tuesday for the polisci class. I took some books out of the library, I need to scour some journal archives, I need to do lots of reading, and then I need to write my fucking heart out, all in the midst of studying studying studying. Even that wasn't stressing me too much until I opened up moodle and saw the dreaded "(post a comment)" note next to over 40 pages on pdf reading that I need to do for tomorrow for that class. And here I am, exhausted out of my mind for spending loads of time on a shittastic FYSEM paper last night (at least it's my last one). Took a nice two hour nap, thinking I might just sleep and wake up early to work on the Revolution study guide, essentially, but then I log onto moodle and... no.

I shouldn't be complaining. It's really not that horrible. I just am so burnt out that doing all of this stuff at the very end seems like the stupidest idea ever. I am so totally ready to get out of here. I'm all set for next semester. Got my classes sorted out, I've got employment for next year, I'm beyond sick of the cafeteria food, and I just want to go. But, alas, I'm trapped here for another seven days in which I need to stop myself from enjoying anything because I really need to buckle down and work. My original plan to write up a first draft of my research paper last weekend flopped. But I need to get down to work tomorrow. I need to get down to work right now. If only I wasn't so freakin' tired.

So here you are. There's my whinefest. I am so over this semester. But... I can't be, not yet. And so I conclude this lametastic entry and will now go do the work I've been dutifully complaining about.

Well I put pictures up on Facebook for specifics, but essentially the gist of this title is that I saw Nightwish last night and it was bitchin'.

But that has nothing to do with why I wanted to write this post.

Topic A: So I fail and I still haven't talked to topic-of-last-post. >.> I may have lost my nerve. Also I haven't seen him on MSN when I've been on since I wrote that post.

Topic B: I don't want to do anything more this semester. :( I'm tired and I still have this obnoxious cough hanging onto me even though my cold's pretty much gone and I have no fucking clue what I'm going to write my final research paper for polisci on and I have to read a bunch for FYSEM and for polisci and take all my three finals and write my FYSEM paper and probably another one due after the semester ends because one week is not enough time to write a paper especially when in that week I have another massive paper and three finals to worry about and oh gahd I am stressing myself out and I have so much to do but so don't want to do it I just want summer. :(

Topic C: Classes... still pending pending pending. I have no idea my chances at them, although the Intermediate Spanish Professor e-mailed me back finally and said that I should get into the class because I got rejected last time even though she's in a pickle because, again, a lot of people want in. I'm hoping when I go in to talk to her, which is tomorrow after my polisci class (revolution is cancelled tomorrow because it's board week), I can actually complete sentences in Spanish. I'm so rusty though because I haven't taken Spanish in nearly a year and don't have many people to speak to in Spanish. I do know that I'm in the 16mm Film Workshop though, but I have to register for that manually later on. Gah. Double stress. :(

Topic D: Triple stress! Housing! Julie and I really want a double in the Village because the dorms there are nice and are in a decent location. Stone Row is a good spot because it's closer to all the buildings, but the dorms aren't that great, but that's our second choice. Aside from that, north campus is so far away from my classes... so hopefully my good room draw number will come in handy. Room draw on Tuesday! Crapola crappity crap, man. x.x

Soo.... I'm a bit stressed even though I'm not doing much. I should be reading for my polisci class right now but I'm tired and think I'll just wake up a little early and try and get the reading done in the morning. This post is way longer than I meant for it to be, so I'm gonna end it now. ...Yeah, now.

16 more days.

It's over. I'm done. I FINISHED IT.

I don't think that I'm ever going to watch something like Battlestar Galactica ever again. I also don't think I've ever seen a better television show. And, Spoiler Alert!, I'm also incredibly upset that Lee and Kara never got the happy ending they deserved so much. I mean, seriously, despite everything else, there was always them. Even when they had their separate spouses, there was still something there. And once they didn't anymore, they deserved to be together. They deserved it so much. On the bright side, Gaius and Six got back together and Helo survived to be with Athena and Hera. Yes, I am so lame that I care so much about these pairings. But considering the need for the survival of the human race and the character bonds that formed over the show, this was necessarily deserved. I so totally cried when Roslin died, when Kara just vanished in mid-air. Kara's goodbye to Sam. Sam as the hybrid... it was unexpected but so fitting, really. But I'm not sure how I felt about the last ending so much. I mean, the first part "omg, the original Eve" and "omg, it's us!" was cool, but the robotics was a bit much...

Well, overall, this was the best viewing experience I've ever had, I think. I'm so sad to be done, to have nothing left to experience, nothing that's quite the same at least. There's The Plan and Caprica and Razor, but it's not the same. It's not exactly what I fell in love with during the past several weeks, just remnants that will allow me to feel closer to this experience. There was many imperfections, but so much that just worked, and in its entirety, BSG is very near-perfect.

I need to sleep because I'm feeling sick, but I just wanted to make clear what an experience it was to watch that television series. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it, and to those that have, you can understand my strong feelings towards it. I am so glad I watched that series, so glad to have spent my time on it, and I look forward to rewatching it in the future. But it'll be like Cowboy Bebop, in a way. Also an amazing series... but knowing how it ends, and knowing that there are loose, unhappy ends involved, makes rewatching very hard despite the pleasure. Part of me never wants to watch it again, to just savour the experience.

We'll see when I actually have the time. I'll probably change my mind. But for now... I'm going to revel in the experience I've had. I'll worry about revisiting it later.

Quit LA.

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm tired.

Good night. :)

I feel a lot better right now even though I know it's just the EYE OF THE STORM. Well, I don't have another paper due until next Wednesday and it's for Revolution and somehow my last paper, which was total shit and written so horribly at the last minute, got me a B+ so I'm not majorly worried although, no lie, I'm always anxious about all the schoolwork these days. But my third FYSEM paper and my polisci journal review are both done and handed in. Only four papers left (even though one is an evil monster 10-15 page research paper due on the very last day for polisci).

But there is some good to come of the world. My birthday is on Sunday. :D Although my birthday isn't anything special really (oh man, turning 19... uh... okay now I'm just getting older), I'm excited because Julie and Molly are coming home with me Saturday afternoon and then we're going to feast on chinese food, I'll make them watch the latest episode of Heroes, and then we'll go out and do exciting things with Laura and Carly, who is going to be home this weekend! And then on Sunday since the Dalai Lama cancelled on Albany (MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT), my mom bought tickets to this show, "Spontaneous Broadway" at Proctor's, which reminds me of Whose Line Is It Anyway? as in audience members think up song titles and the performers come up with songs on the spot. Kinda goofy, but whatevs.

Aside from that, still no internship, but it might be better anyway for me to stay home and work for the summer. Maybe I can do some traveling. I'm planning to go to LA in August to see Molly and Julie and maybe I can take a trip down to Venezuela, especially if I do take Spanish next year, to visit my aunt.

Speaking of Spanish... this is where it gets crazy. The draft for next semester's course list just came out and, for whatever reason, I've been itching to learn German. There's just this weird appeal to me of Berlin as a film capital of the world and my German history and just the history of Germany in general that makes me want to learn it. The thing is, Basic German isn't going to be offered. Instead, in Spring 2010, they're offering German Immersion, which is a 12 credit, 15 hour a week, intensive course that leaves room for one other class (which would be a video production class for me). Not only that, but that's the semester I plan to moderate, so it's kind of totally insane. But I kind of want to do it. Also, the Intermediate Spanish class clashes with Screenwriting (which I really want to take) and it meets at 9:20am Monday through Thursday. Suck! I might be crazy enough to take three film classes next semester and then a buddhism class (not the Women in Buddhism class I wish was offered next semester, but the basic 100 level Buddhist Thought and Practice class).

I am so insane, but I am really tempted to do the German Immersion. I feel bad because I should be continuing Spanish, considering my six years experience with it and its general usefulness... but I also want to do German. I wanted to take German next year and just do Intermediate Spanish I this next semester and then II the following semester... I don't know. Maybe I should wait to take German next year. I don't think they'd offer the German Immersion two years in a row though... and it'd be INSANE to take it my senior year with Senior Project... and it seems like such an amazing opportunity as opposed to just taking regular German classes.

I wish I could take to my adviser about this, but he's relatively worthless. I don't think he's returning next year. He's not listed as teaching any classes in the film department, not even the class he taught these past two semesters.

Gah. This is only a draft so maybe it'll change. But for now I am totally bonkers over this. xD

Ramble Complete!

(We interrupt your normal program of boring life updates and angst to bring you this breaking news story)
I tend to forget that we live in an age where weapons exist that could destroy everything in seconds... and all it takes is a little push.

So I didn't get into Cabaret. I actually cared this time, but I shouldn't be surprised. Dance auditions went... eh. I'm so not a dancer. And my regular audition... well I just can't tell. That's a real problem. I can't tell if I'm any good at anything. I mean, in high school, I got roles and awards and shit for being "awesome" but it was more relatively awesome. And when compared with about a hundred other high schoolers as opposed to the rest of the world, it's not that hard to be awesome.

Every time I've tried to do something for real, in the actual world, I totally suck at it. This is only my second audition in college, but I didn't even get a callback this time. I auditioned for a show once when I was younger, early teenage years I think, 14 maybe? I had no idea how real auditions worked so I wasn't surprised nothing came of it. Just like not getting onto American Idol was totally deserved. And this whole internship hunt is sucking major balls. I haven't even heard anything from Jacob's Pillow and I was rejected from ATF and Glimmerglass, both of which I thought wouldn't be that difficult; surely, I could get into one of those.

I mean, I can't just totally suck in reality... but there doesn't seem to be substantial evidence against the claim that I do. The compliments could easily be wrong, and that's what I'm trying to not rely on, but it's all that I have to boost my confidence anymore. There are no more awards for me or shows I'm in where I can show off my "skills." I'm stuck doing nothing. Being nobody. Everything I do anymore is average. And the worst part is that I can't tell if I was ever actually talented or if I was fooled into thinking I was.

Sorry for the whinefest. This has just been tormenting me lately. Needed to articulate it.

So I THOUGHT that this week started out pretty well when my first couple classes weren't bad and I didn't feel too rushed and I got a 98 on my polisci midterm exam. But, alas, it's starting to stall. Firstly, after a really busy Tuesday, I return to my dorm around 10 to find that I have about 100 pages to read for my polisci class when I had been looking forward to lying down and relaxing for the first time that day. Then, although this grade was to be expected, I find that I received a B for my FYSEM midterm grade. And to top it all off, I wake up today to find an e-mail from ATF to hear that I've been rejected from an internship there, which I had been really hoping for since I had a good interview and it's in a nice location.

And I'm not even getting started on all the work I have this half of the semester. x.x

And today's supposed to be rainy again.

I'm unhappy.

Oh, btws, this is the film my group did for the 24 hour film festival: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asXRKihocU0

Watch it. Love it.

Drunk Bitch rox.

I'm totally going to revert back to utter geekdom once I finish Battlestar Galactica. I know it. And in the meantime, I'm going to be sleep-deprived and not doing my work because I am so into this show. Already, I know I should get sleep (as I am STILL fucking sick), but, alas, I'm going to stay up and watch the last two episodes of the first season. And I have to wake up in ten hours.

On the bright and Battlestar Galactica-free side, I'm going down to the city (NYC, duh) with my mom tomorrow. Going to spend the day lurking around, eating, maybe some shopping, and then going to see the new revival of West Side Story as my first Broadway show. Took me long enough to see a proper Broadway show considering how near I am to the city, how into theatre I am, and how close I've come (seen a couple off-Broadway shows). But I'm excited; I love West Side Story. Then back on the train and... the last two days of spring break. I have done no work so far, unless you count watching a couple documentaries to stock up for my Documentary Media class. I'm planning on reading Nietzsche on the train tomorrow. That's the only work I'm really concerned about. Aside from that, I have loads of reading for Revolution, but like hell I'm bothering with that (I haven't bothered doing the reading for that class in ages). If I have anything to do for my polisci class, it isn't posted. So I'm not too concerned, so long as I read my ass off on the train tomorrow.

I can't believe I've been sick almost my entire spring break. I may end up being sick the entire spring break as I'm still not better. I mean, I'm not feeling horrible or anything, but I'm still sick; coughing, stuffy, tired. I've been out to the movies once and I want to go again to catch Duplicity so hopefully I can manage that Saturday? If not, I'll just have to rent it later on.

This term felt like it was going so slowly and now it feels like it's going too quickly. 6 and a half weeks until the semester's over. I can't wait for it to be over but... I am SO not psyched about finals. x.x The midterms, and the midterm papers, were pain enough, and it's going to be double that.

Well... let's focus on the good. Battlestar Galactica is frakkin (seewhatididthere?) awesome. And, uh, yeah I'm out of the good right now. I'm just so nervous about the end of the semester. There's so much to do and so little time... both during break and during the semester.

Oh, other good. I'm going to see the Dalai Lama on my birthday. He's coming to Albany on April 19th, which happens to be my birthday (and, oh snap, it's my 19th on the 19th), and I am going to go see him speak. I'm psyched about that too.

Anyway, before I go into a full-blown panic attack about the end of the semester, I am going to end this rambly entry and go back to watching the next episode of Battlestar Galactica load frustratingly slowly.

>.<

PS: Is it kinda wrong that I want the Twilight DVD? Entertainment Weekly's bit about RPattz's commentary makes me really want to listen to it. Plus, it'll be great fun at parties where we can laugh and laugh and laugh and...
...okay, yeah, it's kinda wrong that I want it.

Goddamn my life.

Just finished my FYSEM essay. I think it's a little bit better than the one I wrote last time, but it probably isn't considering I stayed up until 8am (a new record!) writing it.

Now I think I'm going to sleep for an hour before I have to go to class.

I am such a moron.
A really fucking tired moron.
...a moron who now has album artwork for most of her albums on her iPod?

Yeah. So not worth it.

Finally got to see it and just got back from the theatre.

The verdict?

I liked it. I really did like it. It is nowhere near as good or as resonating or as astounding as the graphic novel (not to build up the novel too much, despite my love for it), but it is certainly enjoyable. It's incredibly difficult, imo, to compress Watchmen into an under three hour film, but I think they managed pretty well. And, to be frank, it's kind of nice that I don't want to watch all the little things. They add so much into the graphic novels, all the smaller supporting characters, but when you're watching a movie, they're just distracting, so it is kind of nice that they were reduced... although I am a bit disappointed by the shortening of Rorschach's history. I thought the casting was all really good (Nixon's nose was really distracting though), the script was incredibly faithful to the novel, and I liked that the costumes were updated (I'm sorry, Ozymandias' costume, for one, would have been SO campy on screen... as would had everyone else's really). The music was generally cool but some of it was a bit weird. "Hallelujah" playing when Laurie and Dan get it on in Archie was really bizarre to me. But, overall, I thought it was good.

Of course, this is coming from the perspective of someone who has read the novel. I totally understand if people who have not read the novel, or who go in expecting it to be on par with the novel, don't like it, or even hate it. I saw it with two other people who had read the novel and two who haven't. Rachel, who hasn't read the graphic novel, hated it, for instance. There were a lot of little things that weren't really explained (Bubastis, for one) and just too much that couldn't be put on screen in a single movie that made it hard for non-fan viewers to really relate to it.

In the end, I think that, for fans who want a nice little complement to the graphic novel, who would like to see a film version that, while not as good, is still good enough to watch, Watchmen is the perfect creation. However, if you wanted to make a film that made the story more accessible to people who haven't read it, this isn't the best example (although it does a better job than, say, some of the Harry Potter films for explaining most things). If anything, I hope this prompts all fans who see it with their non-fan friends to say, like Jen insisted to Rachel, "well, read the graphic novel. It's better explained and just better overall."

I enjoyed it. I might not bother seeing it again in theatres, but I'll probably buy it when it comes out on DVD. I think it would be nice to watch when I'm just not feeling up to committing to rereading the graphic novel (it's like why I own the Harry Potter films... only, I like Watchmen the film better than the Harry Potter movies).

I have not seen Watchmen yet. But I will! The 48 hour film festival I'm doing (film festival not as in showing movies but as in making them) has been turned into a 24 hour film festival so I have Saturday night and Sunday to myself... although I should dedicate Sunday to helping out on the film I've been working on, but I have a FYSEM paper I need to get done and also I neeeeed to see Watchmen. For reals. I don't care what the critics say (for once), I'm seeing it, possibly multiple times, and purchasing it when it comes out on DVD.

This past week was kind of crazy. I had two papers to write, one due Monday, the other due Wednesday. I stayed up until 4:30am on Sunday night/Monday morning doing the Monday paper, managed to get it in, go to my classes, and participate in a (relaxed) debate in my Revolution class between the communists and the anarchists. I was on the communist side. IMO (which is totally not biased), we won. Of course, we can't have really won because, as the anarchists pointed out, it was "imaginary." Tuesday... I felt really tired the morning for some reason and after I managed to get up felt really sick to my stomach so I skipped FYSEM. To make the week that much more awesome... I stayed up until 8am writing my paper due that afternoon, slept for what I had planned to be three and a half hours, but instead slept through my Polisci class (because my alarm was set to 11:30PM not 11:30AM) and part of my Revolution class. All of my professors were really cool about all of my absences this week though; My polisci professor even commented that he missed my input in class that day (I did too; I read the thirty-something pages for the class and found them really interesting). And my Revolution professor was like "yeah, my wife does that all the time."

I managed to make it to class on time on Tuesday, although it was a close call; I woke up 12 minutes before I needed to be at class and it takes about 10 minutes to walk there from my dorm. I got dressed that quickly. I got to class on time today as well, although Molly and I skipped out early because our professor's in California on conference and therefore it was a second screening and the first documentary was just ridiculously annoying and so by the time the second one was a bit in we were just like "screw this" and left.

I am so tired and so looking forward to sleeping in at least on Sunday if not tomorrow.

Anyway, that's enough of me recounting my sleep-deprived week; off to dinner and then on to the film fest!

Two weeks, two midterms, one papers, and loads of readings away from spring break!

Is the ukulele the new guitar?

Also, Molly and I decided to do the Awkward German gesture at Conceited Bard Hipster Douche.

So I was just writing my weekly report for Intro to Documentary Media and we're doing WW2 based propaganda films this week, so I just read comments by Andre Bazin on Why We Fight where he writes about the appeal of making documentaries based off of wars. Because of this, I thought it would be nifty if I wrote about the documentary No End In Sight as we are supposed to be watching a documentary a week outside of class (but not really; more like we're supposed to relate a documentary we've seen outside of class to the readings/discussions/other films we're watching) and write about said documentary. As it is about the Iraq War it certainly says something about the appeal of war-based documentaries, also the use of editing in No End in Sight is really poignant and it presents a particular viewpoint about from "hey guys, here's the Iraq War going on."

And then just as soon as I finished that and printed it out, I go to check my e-mail, and the Yahoo News story is: Iraq Withdrawl Gets Date.

This is weird because I said in my weekly report that there was still no end (I didn't add the "in sight" part because I knew that it was something Obama planned to work on, thank goodness). But what timing to have this announced at the same time I'm writing this!

Oh also I feel very proud; I did almost all of my documentary reading this week. I have all of it done except for the bit I have to read in one of our books I'm going to go do now; I just wanted to write my weekly report before I forgot about my idea. I just hope that my professor isn't like "well, ACTUALLY" about my comment on there being no end.

One more thing about documentary. So, today in our screening, we watched Listen to Britain and Triumph of the Will. The latter got kind of long and repetitive (its point, but as the Nazi regime isn't really one to be enthused about anymore, it got a little boring). So my film pal Molly and I ended up just fooling around 'cause the professor left at the beginning of the screening; staff meeting. There was this funny shot of this guy hanging on a pole during Hitler's visit to the Hitler Youth (I think that was the segment anyway) and Molly and I found this really funny and for some reason we started saying all these famous movie lines but adding pole at the end. Like, "I don't know how to quit you, pole!" and "You complete me, pole!" It was quite hilarious so we were laughing a lot. Also at the fact that Hitler's pants and belt, as well as most SS members, made his ass look really big. We also made up, based on the "awkward turtle" the "awkward German" where you do the awkward turtle, just where a moustache would grow (like Hitler's!) Then Molly was texting with her friend about the upcoming Spiderman the Musical and naming a bunch of funny song titles, and I started performing some of them. We found this all incredibly hilarious, including some other random stuff. And I couldn't control my laughter (I was really low on sleep last night), so I kept repeating, like "I know this isn't a comedy! But I can't stop laughing anyway!" Oh and I also had this awesome deja vu moment where I told Molly that I was writing in my notes about "check out the bitchin' Nazi flags!"

Anyway, I am not some idiot who would dare undermine the horrors that the Nazi party committed and all the shit that went down because of stuff like Triumph of the Will and the strength and power of Nazi Germany.

However, some lame kid in our class, disagreed.

After the screening ended, he came down to talk to me and Molly and he asked "You... you guys know that wasn't a comedy, right?" he said condescendingly. I gave him this look and responded with a "Yeah..." with a facial expression that said "duh." Apparently Molly has another class with him or else has heard more about him; apparently he's a douche; said he does a lot of playwriting and thinks he's the next Chekov. We bitched about him for a while until we parted. What a nosy little condescending bastard. Yeah, we're totally assholes who don't understand what that documentary was about or the impact of it and its featured star.

Thaaaanks typical conceited lame Bard student.

I actually love my college, but the stereotypical Bard student fails heavily. They wear skinny jeans, plaid flannel, bathe only occasionally, purposefully mess up their hair the right way, smoke everywhere, and try to sound ten times more intellectual than they actually are. Chances are they are more into experimental cinema and think "Brakhage is the shit" and that "Christopher Nolan should have stayed indie" and crap. They only listen to whiny bands no one has ever heard of, they usually have at least one facial piercing (nothing wrong with that), and bitch and complain about everything that's wrong with society while encouraging it. There's nothing worth than conforming to the "noncomformist" behaviour.

Yes, I own skinny jeans. No, I don't own flannel. Yes, I love Chris Nolan's Batman movies. No, I don't smoke.

Oh and I laughed during Triumph of the Will. I hate the Jews; Hitler was right!

Oookay shutting up now. >.>

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/02/why-new-clue.html

WHY WOULD THEY DO SUCH A THING?
I am so mad at Hollywood right now for even considering remaking one of my all-time favourite movies!

In other news:
- Heroes spoiler: Unfortunately, my previous entry where I rejoiced over the death of Daphne was inaccurate... she's alive and around to make Matt as annoying as ever again. Ugh. Dammit. The latest episode wasn't as good as the first three were, but it was still better than Heroes has been. It felt like it was trying a bit too hard to relive Company Man but didn't have the same impact.
- I'm faring pretty decently with the Insanity difficulty level on Mass Effect. Dying often enough but less often than I expected.
- Two papers due next week, one due the following, and then a mid-term exam. Oh boy, how exciting. >.>

And life is life. Mostly I'm just still wtf-ing over remaking Clue.

Oh and the Oscars were good; for the first time ever I won at home (I won with 17 right out of 24; my brother and dad got 14 right and my mom got something below them).

Oh my god I am such a moron.

So, I applied to four different internships and I've heard back from two, well, sort of. I thought I'd only heard back from one all together, but I actually heard from Glimmerglass that they had received my materials and I heard back from the Adirondack Theatre Festival... and had a phone interview with them... but for some reason I thought they were Glimmerglass because I had totally forgotten about ATF in the first place (I applied there more on a whim than at Glimmerglass and the other more serious internship I applied to at Jacob's Pillow). I'm really hoping I didn't say Glimmerglass in my interview and didn't embarass myself too much.

I feel like such a total moron for screwing that up now. It didn't even occur to me until when I came home today and my dad asked me if I had heard from ATF and then I realized, just as I was heading off to sleep a few minutes ago, that "wait, wait a second, wasn't the woman with whom I talked on the phone's e-mail an @atfestival email? ...oh shit" and then I dashed downstairs to check and I realize now what a fool I've been! I can't believe I made that mistake! I know I made a reference to Cooperstown (which is where Glimmerglass is) and I was a little confused when the woman was talking about Glens Fall (where ATF is).

Oh jesus christ, I hope this didn't hurt my chances. And now I'm so paranoid it did and I am so much more worried than I was before and I am so distracted now that I can hardly go back to sleep. Oi freakin vey. I can't freakin' believe myself. x.x

Well, on the bright side, if this one doesn't work out, I know that I have at least two other options to hope for.

I could just headdesk myself to death right now.
...
headdesk
headdesk
headdesk

I am so unbelievably happy with Heroes this volume.

I mean, of course the plane crash at the beginning made us all think of Lost and there is some corny stuff going on (but that's always been in Heroes), but, really, the story is coherent, the characters are back to making sense, and reactions happen. Also, I like the new characters thus far.

Let me get a little more in-depth about what I'm loving so far this volume/half of the season. Watch out for some spoilers, of course.

1) Characterization. People are acting within their character. Nathan isn't a total asshole, but he's an asshole, and we're not relying on some stupid "GOD GAVE ME THIS MISSION" bullshit; he genuinely, and understandably, believes that people with abilities are dangerous. Claire is being a whiny bitch, but at her age (she's like 17), she's determined to show her independence and her strength (not just her special power). Sandra Bennet FINALLY got fed up with HRG and kicked him out of the house, which totally makes sense. And Sylar's little speech to miniSylar (Luke) this episode really reconnected us with the purpose of his character: he always has an objective. And yeah, he is a serial killer, although he does it with an objective in mind.

and speaking of miniSylar...

2) New characters: they're doing it better. I like miniSylar/Luke. He's real. He's cool. He's a fucking little punk, but that fits just fine. And he's the surrogate son that took Sylar's place, which actually makes their companionship sensical for a loner like Sylar (who, y'know, butchered Elle, his wooman, last volume). And Alex. Alex, who was introduced this episode. Already has my love. He has a useful ability, but it's really nothing special (like most abilities on Heroes, really; none of them are all too useful on their own save telekinesis, super strength, and the mind manipulation powers; Alex's is the ability to breathe underwater). He is also an adorable looking nerd. And I hope Claire sucks less enough to be worth getting another romantic interest; at least this one already knows her dad's after people like him and that she's not in league with them. Oh and the Hunter. The Hunter is a wonderful new character. I love his cold determination and his kind of extremeist take on Nathan's perspective. The new characters in this volume feel way more promising than last volume.

speaking of last volume's characters...

3) Cleaning Up the Cast. Daphne would have been a really cool character. Really. She was cool until she met Matt last season. The speedster! The perfect villain for Hiro! But no... she just became Matt's little girl. Totally boring and useless. She just made Matt really annoying, and I like Matt. I have to admit, I'm glad she's gone. After she got away from Hiro, she served such little purpose. Matt had more chemistry with the turtle. Really. And I'm glad to not see Maya around. And although I admit that I kinda miss Micah and Molly, I'm glad they're absent in the meantime. And Monica. Well, nobody seems to care about Monica. We haven't seen her since season 2. She had a pretty awesome power for being in such a shitty plotline. It'd be nice to see her back someday, so her mini-adventure in season 2 wasn't totally useless, but in the meantime, like the kids, I'm glad she's absent.

4) The Plot Is Good. This has been a problem for a while. The plot makes sense, for once, and there is one cohesive plot that ties all of the characters together. While they all have their own agendas and plans, there is this overwhelming evil that is constantly going after all of them. And there is a small group (Mohinder, Matt, and Peter, joining up to make their characters much more respectable and less annoying for the first time in a while) that is already focused on the main objective of fighting against this great evil. But there's a plot that affects everyone. Claire is sent to save Alex. The plot is the reason Sandra kicks HRG out. The plot is chasing after Sylar and keeping Tracy detained and et cetera et cetera. You get the point. There is this central elements whilst the characters go develop themselves. Hooray development!

All in all, there is a lot I can praise in the past three episodes alone that I couldn't do for the past season and a half. Don't get me wrong, there were some really awesome elements of volumes 2 and 3. Honestly, Hiro's journey to Japan was pretty cool. Long, too drawn-out, annoying, but cool. It developed his character. It introduced the awesomeness-that-I-dearly-miss that is Adam Monroe/Takezo Kensei. But the overall plotline in season 2 was introduced too late and it just became annoying and rather stupid. I read somewhere, I think ew.com, that season 2 would have been way more effective if "Four Months Ago" had happened literally at the beginning of the season; it would have given it so much more direction and focus. And Elle was a pretty bitchin' character. I personally liked Bob, and the evolution of Angela into a bigger character was great.

But... we all know the horribleness. Arthur Petrelli. I think he's probably the worst villain I've seen on Heroes. I'm sorry, the whole Villains volume really sucked in my opinion. You had Mohinderfly in all his annoyingness. You had Maya just hanging around being even more useless than she had been in season 2. And just Arthur Petrelli... a horrible villain. A cool power... but a horrible villain. The shitty chemistry between Daphne and Matt. The ever so annoying Claire. The eclipse shit. Oh my god, I have to say, that may have been one of the stupidest things I'd ever heard of. GOD DAMMIT HEROES, UNDERSTAND CONTINUITY MUCH? Remember "Six Months Ago?" Remember how you introduced all these abilities MONTHS before the eclipse? How tons of heroes had abilities long before six months ago? The concept of the eclipse serving any purpose was really dumb. The only good part? Seeing the funny motions Elle and Sylar make when using their powers... but without seeing their powers!

And, y'know, seeing the ordinary-people-with-powers-you-never-wanted-to-see-with-powers is proving to be interesting. I enjoy the role reversal we're getting with Ando and Hiro. And now that Mohinder is not Mohinderfly, his powers are actually cool. Bah, he was a shitty scientist anyway.

One thing that really did it for me last volume? Peter running around like he uses guns all the freakin' time. Are you kidding me? Didn't he go to MEDICAL SCHOOL TO BECOME A NURSE? I was so glad to see him as a paramedic again.

And, of course, Arthur Petrelli. Arthur Petrelli, Arthur Petrelli, Arthur Petrelli. God, I hated his character. And the whole stupid "Sylar is Angela and Arthur's son" bit. I mean, it helped introduce to us Sylar's current goal of finding his real father, but aside from setting that up, it was just really annoying.

Actually, that's how I feel about all of last volume and most of season 2. It was shitty, but it helped set up where we are now in the show.

Let's hope that Heroes continues to get better and wins back some of its old, disillusioned fans. For those of you who are disillusioned old fans: if you liked season 1 but quit when you saw how crappy the following season and a half were, give it another shot. It's really getting back to being good, in my opinion. I'm really looking forward to next week. And I'm totally going to rewatch the three most recent episodes before next week; they were good. :D

Now, I need to go read Kant. Oh joyous day.

HEY GUYS CHECK OUT MY DEVIANTART

pimppimppimppimp.

I pimp this because I added a crapload of sketches from my drawing class last semester and they are being woefully neglected.

Also because it is a form of procrastination and I don't want to write my FYSEM paper because I'm a lazy bum. D:

So I didn't get into Sweeney Todd (which I'm a lot less disappointed about than I thought I'd be; I felt such a wave of relief when I got the e-mail this morning, thinking to myself how I wouldn't die trying to manage my time).

And I got Puppy Bowl III on DVD today so I'm definitely having a watching party for that this weekend. I've never watched a puppy bowl but it sounds like the freakin cutest thing ever.

Gertie's been acting up, the fan is loud, and I need a can of compressed air according to dell support, but the computer help desk here doesn't have any so I'm going to have to hunt for some next time I'm in civilization where there are hardware stores to browse.

I actually got a really nice night's sleep last night. I didn't do nearly as much reading as I was supposed to do, but I went to sleep around 1:30 and slept until 10:45. I also watched a few minutes of The Lion King on my iPod before falling into a very refreshing night's sleep.

I feel like I might actually be able to manage my work today and tomorrow. The screening tomorrow gets out at 9-ish, and the essay for Polisci probably won't be too difficult, and the reading for documentary media is a lot shorter than I thought it was (it's still pretty long though, don't get me wrong). But between today and tomorrow, I can get it done.

Anyway, I'm off. I'm finally being useful on Rachel's senior project this semester; I'm meeting her and Robbie in Avery to work out the set-up for this weekend's shoot.

I'm feeling slightly less stressed out now than I have been lately, but I'm still busy as fuck. We'll see how it goes.

Oscars in 18 days! I still am not entirely sure who to pick for Best Original Screenplay or Best Supporting Actress. And although I'm planning to go with Sean Penn for Best Actor, I would LOVE to see Richard Jenkins snag that one. Same with Kate Winslet probably getting Best Actress but I'd love to see Anne Hathaway take it. Anyway, I'm off.

O GOD I AM SO BUSY AND I SHOULD BE READING RIGHT NOW 'CAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH READING TO DO AND HOMEWORK AND IT SUCKS BUT I AM PROCRASTINATING BECAUSE I WORKED ALL DAY YESTERDAY AND I ALREADY READ FOR A FEW HOURS TODAY AND I ALREADY HAVE A SHORT PAPER DUE NEXT WEDNESDAY AND I HAVE TOO MANY OBLIGATIONS AND O GOD I FAIL.

How d'you like that sentence?

But for realz, I feel so overwhelmed and it's only the third day of classes. But I've had so much work thrown at me and there are a shitload of other obligations I have and want to have (Rachel's senior project/film, the upbeats (tutoring local kids in music), work, the musical (sweeney todd! auditions saturday!), lumosalliance (which I've had so little time for the past couple days), jazz ensemble, sleeping). Blegh. And the worst part is that I've been whining nonstop about it the past couple days when I'm not busy actually doing the work.

Speaking of, I've got to go read Rousseau. So I'll end this further whinefest... NAUGH.

Oh also, even though it's beyond a purpose now, I saw Revolutionary Road today. It was good, for sure, sporting some brilliant performances by Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet and the supporting cast. I can't decide if I would rank it higher or lower than The Reader though. I originally ranked it higher, but that's because I'm angry at The Reader for stealing The Dark Knight's spots in Best Pic, Director, and Adapted Screenplay. Also, Leo so should've gotten Brad Pitt's spot. I don't mind THAT much because Leo has garnered so many nominations and he will garner many more, but still, his performance was way more impressive than Pitt's.

Okay, so, I haven't seen all the films from 2008 (obviously) and I haven't even seen all the big name films. But I wanted to do this now anyway. I've been considering my list for a long while and I think I've finally come up with a proper top ten. I can't think of an order though so you're just going to get my top ten in alphabetical order. There were other good films, other great films either, and plenty of films I haven't had a chance to see yet and therefore have not made my list. But, anyway, enough of my blabbering, here's the list:

The Dark Knight
Frost/Nixon
In Bruges
Iron Man
Man on Wire
Milk
Rachel Getting Married
Slumdog Millionaire
The Visitor
Wall-E

I also admit that unlike a lot of critics, I really liked Australia. If I had seen Waltz with Bashir yet I'd probably add it to this list, but I haven't. Role Models and Tropic Thunder were my favourite straight out comedies of the year, but I can't say I liked either of them as much as the ten on this list. I also liked Oscar-bait The Reader, Revolutionary Road, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but not nearly as much as these ten. To round out the other contenders I was considering, The Wrestler, 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, and Wendy and Lucy were movies I considered. Oh and there are two extra honourable mentions of movies I saw at Woodstock that haven't been released yet so far as I know: Gospel Hill and The Prince of Broadway. I was SO SAD to be torn away from watching the latter to do actual volunteer work. (I also saw Wendy and Lucy at Woodstock, but that has been released some places, and will be here before long, also it was screened at my school since Kelly Reichardt is a professor at Bard, so it wasn't difficult for me to catch.)

Anyway, there you go. There's my unpolished movie-fanatic opinion. Wonderful, isn't it?

(note how I snubbed two Best Pic noms. SHAME I DON'T HOLD THE WEIGHT OF THE ACADEMY.)

FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD.

(And your non-love for The Dark Knight!)

I'm surprised you bitches didn't leave Heath Ledger off in ignoring it for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay. I am so furious with them right now. The Reader is a good film, no doubt, but seriously! The Dark Knight is even better. Stupid freakin' prestige, biased against the giant blockbuster just because it is a blockbuster and not caring that on top of that you have one of the best movies of the year. You just cost yourself big time, Academy. Considering that Best Supporting Actor is the first category announced at the Oscars, I'm betting a nice portion of your viewers will come for Heath and then leave after he wins (and if he doesn't, I'll know just how lightly you take "comic book movies").

I'll admit there were a couple pleasant surprises in the nominee list:
Amy Adams for Doubt, which was personally my favourite performance in the whole movie. I'm glad Wall-E nabbed a much deserving Best Original Screenplay nod. Richard Jenkins got a nomination over Clint Eastwood and Leonardo DiCaprio for Best Actor for The Visitor. In Bruges got a Best Original Screenplay nomination.

And a couple surprises almost as bad as The Dark Knight snubs:
Sally Hawkins is ignored for Best Actress. Kate Winslet was pushed up to Best Actress for The Reader (not so much a bad surprise, but a surprise nonetheless - I think this makes her the front-runner in the category, but I could be wrong).

...I'm just so pissed off about ignoring The Dark Knight so strongly. Here's to hoping it makes a comeback in the smaller categories. Man, am I pissed at you Academy. And sorely disappointed. The Dark Knight was a gem of a movie. Fuck it, at least they made money, but I'm sure if I were in the shoes of anyone who took part in The Dark Knight, I'd want more. I'd want someone to see my hard work, my brilliant film, and give it a little more notice than just having paid for it.

It deserved better. Shame on you, Academy.

WHAT AM I DOING AWAKE?

I'm TIRED. And I'm going to the movies with Laura tomorrow. And I woke up in the morning today/yesterday!

epic fail on my part.

On the bright side I bothered to update my ff.net profile for the first time in a year essentially stating the obvious "uh, I kinda stopped writing fan fic..." but it's cool, 'cause I also was like "stop picking at my grammar from FOUR YEARS AGO! It's IMPROVED! That happens when you keep writing and learning and stuff" and I called myself an attention-seeking whore and general opinion/praise of my awesome stories/omfgurstoriessuxxorz are the only reactions I deem suitable for reviews anymore (which happen like once a month tops these days). It's just that constructive criticism on stuff that I already know has plenty of faults and that isn't up to date with my actual writing skill is a little useless.

GAH GO TO SLEEP, SARAH.

... approx. 27 hours until the Oscar noms are announced. >.>

ALRIGHT, I'M GOING, SHEESH.

Guys.
Guys.
Guys.

TWELVE MORE HOURS. Less than, even!
:DDDDDDD

Noiamnotexcitedwhatareyoutalkingabout?

Although I admit watching the inauguration in my living room by myself won't be quite as satisfactory as I'm sure it will be for the millions flooding DC (like my brother, the lucky bastard that lives there). But still. Screw historical moment. It's just kind of (read: REALLY) nice to have the administration that ruled over my adolescence vacate the premises.